Empower Your Mind, Elevate Your Marriage, Transform Your Body

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1. That withholding sex when upset is justified. Using intimacy as a weapon creates distance fast. First Corinthians 7:5 says “Do not deprive each other… so that Satan will not tempt you.” Withholding sex doesn’t protect or teach; it opens the door for the enemy. Every time intimacy is used as punishment, it pushes him away. Intimacy isn’t a reward; it’s the glue that keeps a marriage bonded. Choosing connection even in conflict keeps couples together. 2. That all attention, time, and energy should go to the children. As a first time mom especially, it’s easy to pour everything into kids and give him leftovers. But Genesis 2:24 says “A man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife.” The marriage came first. When a wife gives her child everything and her husband scraps, the marriage dies while she’s being “mom of the year.” Kids need a strong marriage more than a burned out mom. The best thing a wife can do for her kids is love their father well. When time and energy are protected for the husband, the home becomes healthier. 3. That once married, pursuing him isn’t necessary. Many wives think pursuit is for dating. Once married, the effort stops. No more flirting, dressing up, initiating. But Song of Solomon shows intentional pursuit throughout marriage. Proverbs 5:18-19 says “May you rejoice in the wife of your youth.” A husband needs to feel wanted, not just needed. When pursuit stops, he feels like a roommate. Marriage requires effort. When a wife starts pursuing again flirting, initiating, making him feel chased the spark returns. He doesn’t want a wife who’s just “there.” He wants one who actively chooses him daily. 4. That correcting him in front of others is “helping.” It’s easy to think correcting him publicly is being accurate. But Proverbs 12:4 says a wife who brings shame is “like rottenness in his bones.” Every public correction humiliates him and chips away at confidence. He’ll shut down because he knows she’ll “fix” what he says. Even if he gets a detail wrong, letting him have that moment matters more than being right. A wife who honors her husband in public earns his trust in private. 5. That independence is more valuable than supporting his vision. A wife can have career and goals. But if she expects him to support it all while treating his vision as secondary, the marriage suffers. Proverbs 31:11-12 says “Her husband has full confidence in her… She brings him good, not harm.” Partnership means sometimes dreams pause so his can move forward, and sometimes his pause so hers can grow. But if independence is constantly prioritized over unity, it’s two separate lives under one roof. When a wife sees his vision as their vision and supports him like she wants support, they become a team. Unlearning these things transformed my marriage, and I’m so grateful God blessed me with the gift of helping other wives walk through this journey. If you’re ready to become the wife God called you to be and the wife your husband truly needs, check my bio for the marriage challenge (for couples to do together) or the “As the Church Submits to Christ” challenge (for wives) 🫶🏾 #wife #marriage
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Father, I come to You with a heavy heart, watching the man I married become someone I barely recognize. In this season of distance and confusion, I ask for Your supernatural peace that guards my heart and mind. Strengthen me to stand firm in the role You’ve called me to as his wife, even when it feels impossible. When I want to give up, remind me that You are the God who restores what was broken and resurrects what looked dead. I lift my husband before You. Whatever battle he’s fighting internally whether it’s fear, depression, temptation, or spiritual warfare I pray You would meet him there. Break through the walls he’s built. Draw him close to Your heart. Let him feel Your presence in a way he can’t ignore. Soften what’s hardened, heal what’s wounded, and awaken what’s dormant in his spirit. Lord, I declare that this marriage is not beyond Your reach. You are doing a work in both of us that we cannot yet see. Give me eyes to see my husband the way You see him not as he is right now, but as who You created him to be. Help me love him well even when he doesn’t feel like mine. I trust You with our story. I trust You with his heart. I trust You with this marriage. In Jesus name, Amen Wives, if your husband is distant, don’t wait for him to change before you start moving. Get the “As the Church Submits to Christ” 30-day challenge and watch God begin restoration in your marriage as you step into your God-given role. Or grab the Marriage Challenge, one for you, one for him and start praying over the man God is calling him to be. #marriage #wife
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Sex in marriage isn’t just pleasure it’s a blessing, a bond, and a protection for your covenant. 1 Corinthians 7:3–5 reminds us to fulfill our marital duties to each other so Satan doesn’t tempt us. Proverbs 5:15 tells us to drink water from our own well keep intimacy at home. Whether one spouse is more eager or less eager, love with patience, generosity, and selflessness. Choose each other above self. Sex is sacred, designed by God to strengthen your marriage. If it’s a struggle, bring it to Him He is the one who created intimacy as a blessing. Guard it, honor it, celebrate it. Your marriage bed is more than physical it’s spiritual 🫶🏾 #marriage #wife
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1. That my husband should meet all my emotional needs: I expected him to be my therapist, best friend, and emotional stabilizer. When he couldn’t, I felt neglected. But Psalm 62:5 says “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone.” Only God can fill the God shaped void. My husband was never designed to complete me; Christ is. When I stopped putting that pressure on him and started taking my deepest needs to God, our marriage got lighter. He could finally just be my partner instead of my savior. 2. That if I wasn’t happy, the marriage wasn’t working: I measured our success by my emotional temperature daily. But Philippians 4:11-12 taught me contentment isn’t circumstantial. Some seasons are hard, and that doesn’t mean you married wrong. Marriage isn’t supposed to make me happy every day; it’s supposed to make me holy. When I stopped chasing happiness and started pursuing faithfulness, I found deeper joy that didn’t depend on my feelings. 3. That intimacy was mainly for my husband’s benefit: I thought sex was something I gave him when he earned it. But Hebrews 13:4 says “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure.” God designed intimacy to bond us spiritually, emotionally, and physically. It protects our marriage from temptation. When I stopped seeing it as a duty and started embracing it as a gift to strengthen our covenant, everything changed. Intimacy became the glue instead of the battleground. 4. That I could have a voice OR submit, but not both: I thought submission meant silence and never disagreeing. But Proverbs 31:26 says the excellent wife “opens her mouth with wisdom.” Submission doesn’t mean I’m voiceless; it means I honor his leadership while still being his partner. I can share my perspective, offer wisdom, and speak truth in love while still respecting his final decision. When I learned I could be both strong and submissive, I found freedom in God’s design. 5. That my marriage problems were all his fault: I blamed everything on him. If we weren’t close, he didn’t pursue me. If we argued, he didn’t communicate right. But Matthew 7:3 says “Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own?” When I stopped making him the villain and started taking responsibility for my part, everything changed. Our marriage healed because I stopped being the problem. Unlearning these lies saved my marriage and if you’re ready to grow in your marriage grab the The Marriage challenge from the link in my bio 🫶🏾 #marriage #wife
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